Monday, September 30, 2013

Celebrating Mothers of Children with Special Needs

Later this week will be the anniversary of my mother's birthday. October 4th was her birthday. She passed away of cancer before she reached her 50th birthday. If she were still alive, she would be 76 years old. It is difficult for me to think of my mother as an elderly woman, since she passed away so young. As the years have passed and I have also become a mother, I think about the things I have in common with her. I wonder if she would approve of my job as a mother to my son.

All three of us had unique needs. My oldest brother, Andy, had leukemia when he was a young child. It was treated and he has lived a normal life. The next oldest brother, Wil, discovered he was losing his eyesight when he was 16 years old. Through many tests it was found that he has a rare genetic disorder called Leber's Hereditary Optic Neuropathy. Mom only lived for a couple more years after Wil's diagnosis. I was the baby of the family; painfully shy, had terrible allergies and asthma. My mother also had another daughter before she and dad were married. That daughter found us several years after mom passed away. We did not get the opportunity to share life on earth with our mom as we grew into adults and have had children of our own.

This message is a thank you to my mom. Thank you for everything you did for all us kids. I appreciate all you ever did for all of us. I wish I had said thank you more before God called you home.

As mothers we play a unique role in our children's lives... one that may even go unnoticed or taken for granted.

Our role becomes even more unique and significant when we have a child with special needs; from Sensory Processing Disorders to Down Syndrome, ADD/ADHD to Learning Disabilities, Autism to Aspergers, Fragile X to Developmental Delays, Cerebral Palsy to PDD. (just to name a few!)

Every day brings unique challenges that can wear us down, or build us up.

For, within each day...

•we may have every strength and weakness of our own tested

•we will have to fight and advocate for our children

•we will choose to protect our integrity and theirs

•we will stand firm amongst criticism and in our beliefs

•we can choose to embrace their uniqueness

•we will love them with every part of our being

•we can find renewed hope and strength

•we can find peace and love where there may not have otherwise been

•we may cry, grieve, and mourn what we can not, or do not have

•yet, we can choose to celebrate, value, and appreciate what we do!

For most of us, we face our lives enmeshed with a special needs child with an incredible amount of strength and courage. We count our blessings, we realize the frailty and preciousness of life, we find wings we may have never had, and we, in the end, inspire others and show our children amazing and unconditional love. We climb a tough mountain, for sure... but, the tougher it is, the steeper it is, the more hurdles we encounter on the way, the more we appreciate the view from the top. We have seen and learned things most people don't get a chance to. We value differences, validate each other, and know a love and appreciation deeper than most!

To all the moms (and dads!) out there who embrace their child with special needs and love them in such a unique way...

•I applaud you and praise you for your unique sacrifice!

•I want you to feel my arms wrapping around you with a tremendous THANK YOU HUG!

•I hope you keep dreaming, keep loving, keep sharing, keep finding hope and strength.

•I wish for you to reach out and help others learn from your struggles and connect with the world in a way you never dreamed possible!

•And, if you still have the opportunity to do so, I hope you will tell your mom (and dad!) how much you appreciate what THEY did for YOU!

An Inspirational Poem For Moms... THIS ONE'S FOR YOU ;0)

One Flaw In Women

Author Unknown --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time the Lord made woman,

He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said,

"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,

have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable

and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,

have a lap that can hold four children at one time,

have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart

-and she will do everything

with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.

"Only two hands!? No way!

And that's just on the standard model?

That's too much work for one day.

Wait until tomorrow to finish."

But I won't," the Lord protested.

"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.

She already heals herself when she is sick

AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.

"But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed,

"but I have also made her tough.

You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied,

"Not only will she be able to think,

she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something,

and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.

"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.

I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak,"

the Lord corrected,

"that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,

her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,

her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed.

"You are a genius, Lord.

You thought of everything!

Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness,

love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

However, If There Is One Flaw In Women,

It Is That They Forget Their Worth.