Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Be Patient Mommy!

It's been a while since I had a post on here. Feeling a bit nostalgic today. Have written some about my son. Thought I would share some more about him and also my thoughts and plans for the future. Each day is a new adventure. Seems in the day-to-day blur sometimes we forget to stop and enjoy the moment. There are things here that I know will be hard to follow through. I can only pray to God and ask for his strength and courage to get me through. Then, and only then, can I feel that I have done my best as a mom.

I remember holding my son for the very first time and gazing with wonder that he was mine. I was overcome with emotions and cried. The nurse asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "Nothing is wrong. I'm finally holding my baby." He was born at 1:12 am on a Friday, about six weeks preterm. I finally was able to hold him a couple days later and a few hours before my discharge from the hospital. I was wondering what would he become? The answer to that question will not be found in a book, but in my willingness to patiently teach him day by day.

Aiden is my first and only child. I also have a sixteen-year-old step-daughter who spends her summers with us. I had prepared myself as best I could for the job of being a mom. I read every book I could get my hands on. I wanted to know the best ways to do everything from feeding him to disciplining him. I even kept a record of everything he ate for the first year of his life. I was obsessed with his growth. Also have the baby book bursting at the spine, already full of notes. Have his first 100 words listed. Most every first I can think of is listed and recorded.

That was only a couple of years ago. I keep finding myself thinking about the future. What kind of child he will be, what kind of teenager will he be. I know that as a baby grows into a child and then into a teenager the problems a mother is faced with grow and change and only get more complex.

Children require a great deal of patience and teaching. Thinking back to how my siblings and I are each different and unique; sometimes I wonder if it has to do with birth order, life experiences or aging parents. I was the baby and our mother passed away when I was thirteen years old. She was 49. Each year I get closer to the age she was when she passed away. There is a part of me that is fearful that my son will have to deal with the death of a parent. My mother had breast cancer. There are things most moms wish they could go back and change, but, unfortunately, any mistakes we make as moms cannot be undone.

How can a mother raise a child who loves the Lord, works hard, and is kind to others when this world encourages immorality?

Here are some thoughts. Whether you have a newborn baby or teen, begin setting an example for Godly living today. It will be easier to change bad habits in a very young child than an older child, but it is possible to teach children at any age.

Be consistent. One of the biggest mistakes we all make is being inconsistent. When you tell your child the rules, follow through. If your child knows he is not supposed to jump on the sofa, do not ignore the bad behavior because you don’t feel like dealing with a fuss or because you are busy or tired.

Be patient. Being a mom is not always easy. My two-year-old repeats a lot of the words he hears. Lately one he repeats is --- PATIENT. He hears me talking to myself. I need to be more patient. You will have to teach your child the same principles over and over… and over again. Sometimes these teaching moments can be painful. When your child tests your resolve by mouthing off, it pains your heart. Patience will help you to deal with the disobedience without losing your cool. Patience will also help you to enjoy those many teachable moments. For instance, my son wants to be my helper. He wants to help me around the house. I let him help me push the vacuum or stir the cookie dough batter. Little things, but as he gets older he can help in bigger ways. I am teaching him how to love by my willingness to be patient.

Be firm. Children need to know their limits. If you allow your child complete freedom without setting specific limits, you will raise children who are out of control and rude. Parents who set reasonable rules for their children have children who are secure in their love and who are able to respect authority on a greater level; for example, teachers, employers, the government.

Be an example. If it is important to you that your children are well mannered, respect others, and work hard set the standard by your own behavior. Children learn more by watching you than they do by listening to you. Always remember to say please and thank you. If your child brings you a flower or helps to clean up, tell him thank you. When you are thoughtful of the needy in your church or community, you are setting a good example. If you want your child to learn to be neat, make sure you keep your own things picked up.

Be fun. Motherhood will pass by faster than you could ever imagine. I already look at his baby pictures with misty eyes. Already missing his itty-bitty days. I realize how much I want to hang onto the precious times we have together. Suppose that comes from the fact that my mother passed away when I was 13.

Read to your child daily. Play games with your child. Laugh with your child. Explore the world together. Find the magic in the everyday moments. Snuggle as much as possible. These are the things I remember most about my mom. Her ability to laugh at herself, find the humor in little things and her ability to always love. You always knew you were loved when she was around.

Be a witness. Giving a solid foundation of Biblical teaching is the greatest gift you can give your child. Pray with your child every day. Read the Bible together. Study together. Talk about the Scriptures and how the Bible applies to today. Show your child what it means to live a Godly life.

There will be times when you feel that all your hard work is not working. You can trust God. Seeing is believing, but believing without seeing is faith.

Grace and Peace Be With You!