Just One More Day

While I was driving in the car today, I heard on the radio a person asking the question, "What would you do for one more day if you had the chance to do something with a person that had passed away?" Who would you choose? Why? The person that called in mentioned an uncle that had passed away. How he loved to play baseball. How she would love to have a day with him and her kids. For her kids to play a baseball game with him.

All this got me to thinking about Mitch Albom's book, For One More Day. I feel a connection to that book in a way. My mother passed away when I was only 13. I didn't know until I was a young adult that she had given up a child for adoption when she was a young adult. She was always "Mom" to me. I didn't know any different.

If you could spend one more day with someone who has died, who would you choose? Why?

I would choose my mom. Because I was only a child when she died, I would like to do "girly" things with her as we are both grown women. Go to a beauty shop and get our hair done, nails done. Go shopping for new clothes and just enjoy being together enjoying an ordinary day with the family. Have her grandchildren meet her and see the love in her eyes for all her children and grandchildren. Then finish the day with a meal, either at home or at one of those all hours restaurants like Village Inn or IHOP. All the while, I think I would be looking at her face to forever etch her happy eyes and smile in my memory.

Why do you think people tend to take for granted the people they love? Do you regret ways you have treated your parents or other loved ones? Do you think you can make it better?

I think people take others for granted because it is easy to do. It is hard work to not take someone for granted, especially a parent. A parent is always there, loving unconditionally no matter what. You can get fuming mad, but they still love you because you are the child and always will be. I know I can lose my temper. It isn't a good thing. I try not to. Life circumstances happen and things pile up one on top of another and then, BOOM! I've had enough. I hope I can make it better. One day at a time, Sweet Jesus. That's all I can do.

Do you agree that there is no love as pure as a mother's love?

Yes, a mother's love is tender, raw and beautiful all at the same time. I have a memory from my chidhood during one summer in Oklahoma. A tornado was near. We did not have a cellar in our home. My brother and I had our sleeping bags in the hall. We were playing and hanging out while mom listened to the radio and watched the updates on tv. When the storm came close, she put her body over us to protect us from the storm. Our home was not damaged in the storm, but I remember that she would cover me and my brother with everything she had for our safety. I hope my son feels the same type of love from me too. Later on she endured a lot of pain and unpleasantness with cancer. Both mom and dad did all they could to protect me from the horrors of cancer. I am glad they did, but at the same time sad that my brothers had to witness things that I was shielded from at the time.

Every family is a ghost story? Do you agree? What are the ways your family has shaped you?

I agree. Long after our loved ones have passed away, we still remember them. The memories linger and mostly are happy memores. In my case I hope to instill happy memories for my son that he will cling to throughout his life. Memories of a silly mom driving him to various places in the car (not afraid to belt out an operetic aria or a silly tune at the drop of a hat), a loving mom (always ready for a hug and kiss), a crazy mom (researching online for any answers to things in his life... researching so much I put the FBI to shame), a mom that drives him crazy with her worries about him (may even stalk him when he gets older... worried that he will make smart choices in life), a mom that will always fight for him no matter what (I have been fighting for him his whole life. Fighting insurance companies to get a full evaluation done, fighiting the school district for services he needs to flourish in the public school system).

Birth order plays a role, I am the youngest in my family. Life circumstances also play a role in shaping you for the person you become. Both my parents passed away before I reached my 28th birthday. My first marriage disintegrated. My present husband was active duty and now is retired from the USAF with a lot of health issues. My son was identified with high functioning autism at the beginning of 2013.

So, in conclusion if I had one more day, I would want it to be an ordinary day. Doing ordinary "girly" things with my mom. Would hang out with the whole family and members of the family that have been born since she went on to heaven. A chance for her to see me as a woman, not just the little girl that she loved so very much.

Serendipity or Something Like That

Today I was going through things in the closet, looking for some old jewelry. Instead I found an old notebook with notes I wrote down two years ago. These are notes I wrote to myself and took with me to my son's three year well child checkup. I knew I had a written record of my concerns. All my concerns were dismissed. All this time has been wasted when he could have been getting help. Makes me mad... mad at myself, mad at the military pediatric clinic. Just plain mad...

Concerns:

1. Mom has a lazy eye. Should we have Aiden looked at that. Occasionally in pictures notice one eye turning in.

2. Very hyper and easily distracted. Unable to sit still. Even at home for meals. Put him in booster seat and he screams. Usually OK if being held in Mommy's lap.

3. Still working on potty training. Has yet to make a bowel movement in the potty. Have been working on it for 9 months. He wears underwear with plastic pants over them at home. Pull-ups when away from home.

4. Rarely makes eye contact at bedtime.

5. Hardly ever takes a nap in the afternoons. Have quiet time in the afternoons with stories.

6. Most all nights comes to our room at some point during the night. Take him back to his room and within 20 minutes he is back in our room.

7. At Wal-Mart covers his ears when we walk by the heat and air vents. Seems sensitive to the noise.

8. When can we begin allergy testing? He has been on Zyrtec for a long time.

9. Says he is nauseous every day. May just be repeating what he hears Daddy say.

31 January 2011 he was 36.5 inches tall and weighed 31.3 pounds.